Cara Delevingne, Model, 模特兒, Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner

Photo credit: getty, ELLE TW

Cara Delevingne在年輕的時候已是全球收入最高的模特兒之一,受到各個品牌青睞,但人氣如日中天的她卻在去年決心離開模特兒圈,甚至公開自己患有憂鬱。

最近有指Cara有回歸天橋的打算。她在《Time》寫了一封公開信,內容除了道盡自己入行以來的心情轉折外,她也以親身經驗給了大家中肯且實用的建議,要讓大家看到快樂的她。

Cara Delevingne, Model, 模特兒, Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner

「我從16歲時開始當模特兒,但機會對我來說很不利。因為身高只有 5’8″(編按:約莫173公分),我比大多數模特兒女孩都來的矮。」

I started modeling when I was 16. The odds were against me. At 5’8″, I was shorter than most girls in the business.

Cara Delevingne, Model, 模特兒, Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner

「然而,我還是努力試了,且如同我對生命中的其他事情一樣,我從不放棄。」

Still, I gave it a shot, and like with most things in my life, I never gave up.

Cara Delevingne, Model, 模特兒, Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner

「但我還是花了好一段時間才有穩定工作,我非常努力才使自己不受外表條件影響,讓時尚界接受我。但沒多久,我發現自己屈服於業界的認同。我覺得自己需要獲得每個人的認可。」

It took a while before I had stability in the business. I worked hard to be accepted by the fashion community in ways beyond my physical appearance. In no time, though, I found myself surrendering to the industry’s approval process. I felt like I needed validation from everyone.

Cara Delevingne, Model, 模特兒, Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner

「因此,我忽略了我自己,也忘了什麼是快樂和成功。但我想這一切都起因於內心想要大家喜歡我、愛我的渴望。」

As a result, I lost sight of myself and what it meant to be happy, what it meant to be successful. I think it all stemmed from a deep-down feeling of wanting people to like me and love me.

Cara Delevingne, Model, 模特兒, Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner

「當你做盡一切只希望讓大家滿意你的工作成果,但仍有人不然時,你會開始想:『我都已經做到這個地步了,我能做的都做了,我已經把自己榨乾了。』」

When you do everything you can to make people happy with your work but there are still people who aren’t happy, you start to think, “Well, I’ve worked my a** off. I’ve done everything. I’ve pushed myself into the ground.”

Cara Delevingne, Model, 模特兒, Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner

「然後你會覺得自己一直在讓人失望,甚至納悶:我到底想做什麼?我到底為了誰而做?」

You just feel like you’re constantly disappointing others, and there’s this moment when you’re like, “Wait, what am I trying to do? Who am I doing this for?”

Cara Delevingne, Model, 模特兒, Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner

「隨著時間過去,我漸漸了解工作以及得到他人贊同並不是最重要的事。沒錯,你的事業很重要—但這不是最重要的。當然我對自己的成就很驕傲,可我並不是真的開心。」

Over time, I came to realize that work and getting others’ approval isn’t the most important thing. Yes, your career is very important—but it’s not the most important. Of course I was proud of my accomplishments, but I wasn’t genuinely happy.

Cara Delevingne, Model, 模特兒, Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner

「當我快20歲時我已經當模特兒好幾年了,我的地位變了...,而我也變了。我知道我得重新檢視我的人生和未來目標。我不想去憎恨時尚或者我的成功。所有過程並不是一夜之間發生,但對我來說維持自我完整是極為重要的。」

I was nearly 20 and had been modeling for several years. My vantage point had changed…and I had changed. I knew I had to reevaluate my life and my goals for my future. I didn’t want to resent fashion or my success. The process didn’t happen overnight, but it was imperative for me to preserve my integrity.

Cara Delevingne, Model, 模特兒, Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner

「雖然花了滿久的時間,但現在我了解到工作並非一切,而成功也有不同的形式。我已經敞開心胸,並像個孩子一樣充滿好奇心地接受新事物。」

It’s taken time, but now I realize that work isn’t everything and success comes in many forms. I’ve opened my mind, and now I embrace new things with a childlike curiosity.

Cara Delevingne, Model, 模特兒, Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner

「我現在花更多時間在做我喜愛的事,也因為這樣我才能夠表現得更好。」

I’m spending more time doing the stuff I love. And I’ve been able to do better work because of it.

Cara Delevingne, Model, 模特兒, Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner

「當你的人生只為了工作,那結果永遠不會如你所願地那樣好、那樣可靠。」

When you’re coming from a place of living just to work, it’s never as good as you want it to be. It’s never as authentic.

Cara Delevingne, Model, 模特兒, Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner

「但當你的生活有了平衡後,工作就成了完全不一樣的體驗,會有一股熱忱讓你擁有不一樣的成就感與感激,此時也就是你能為自己和他人做到最好的時候。」

When you have balance in your life, work becomes an entirely different experience. There is a passion that moves you to a whole new level of fulfillment and gratitude and that’s when you can do your best…for yourself and for others.

Cara Delevingne, Model, 模特兒, Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner

「我仍然有許多事情要學習,但我知道責備自己、帶著罪惡感及後悔著過去所犯的錯只會使我無法前進。」

I still have so much to learn, but I have realized that beating myself up, feeling guilty and regretting past mistakes will only hold me back.

Cara Delevingne, Model, 模特兒, Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner

「畢竟,無論有多少人喜歡你和你所做的事,倘若你不喜歡自己,這一切都不重要。」

After all, no matter how many people like you and your work, it doesn’t matter if you don’t like yourself.

Cara Delevingne, Model, 模特兒, Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner

我們期待Cara在往後更多的嘗試之中,找到讓她快樂的事,也讓我們看到更多方面的Cara。她快樂,喜歡她的人才快樂。

Cara Delevingne, Model, 模特兒, Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner

離開時裝界後,也許大家會看到多點Cara的笑臉。

Cara Delevingne, Model, 模特兒, Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner

Cara Delevingne, Model, 模特兒, Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner

Cara Delevingne, Model, 模特兒, Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner

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Text by Inna (ELLE TW) / edited by Nith Chan
Photo credit: getty, ELLE TW

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